The Struggle is Real...or is it?

Have you ever had something that you needed to do, big or small, and you just couldn’t get the motivation, the strength, or the energy to get it done?  At that moment you felt like saying “the struggle is real.”  But what if I told you that the struggle you’re dealing with, it’s really real?  It isn’t really an issue...you’re making it into on?  Well, if you’re unsure about this, then this article is for you.  Let’s discuss how making one major change can take your situation from feeling like a struggle to being something that isn’t an issue at all.

Struggle Mentality

So these four words “the struggle is real” has become a funny saying that we now use all the time.  If you go on Instagram and type in the hashtag “the struggle is real” you’ll find 4 million posts!!  No, I’m not exaggerating, I really looked it up myself.  The posts talk about the struggle of parenting, the struggle of being healthy, the struggle of getting up early, the struggle of going to work, the struggle of looking beautiful, the struggle of paying bills...the struggle of EVERYTHING!  We have made memes and jokes about how everything is a struggle.  But the joke is on us.  We have truly adopted this mentality and we’ve turned everything into a struggle.  If you’re not careful, everything you do during the day can turn into a struggle and you’ll begin to have this defeated mentality.  You wake up defeated because the blessing of waking up is a struggle.  You go to work miserable because that job and position you prayed for is now a struggle.  You come home tired because cooking and cleaning your beautiful house is now a struggle.  Taking care of and spending time with the kids you love and adore is a struggle.  Being able to afford to go to the gym and eat healthily is a struggle.

Do you see where I’m going?  We’ve turned everything into a struggle.  Even the things we prayed for, begged for, and we should be thankful for are now in the struggle category.  The smallest tasks turn into big struggles.  If we are honest we do this a lot. We procrastinate because the things we need to do are such a huge task when the truth is it’s not that big of a deal.  We are just being lazy.  Yes, I said it.  We are lazy sometimes.  Anything that requires a little work and effort is now a struggle.  When did we become this way?  I’m not sure, I’m but I do know that I’m tired of being tired and I’m tired of viewing everything as this struggle.  Especially when, in reality, we don’t know what “struggle” really is.

A real struggle is battling cancer.  A real struggle is being homeless.  A real struggle is going to war.  A real struggle is losing a loved one.  THESE are struggles.  Not the everyday minor things we do.

Mentality Shift

So, how do we change this struggle mentality?  I don’t have a list of tips for you. I only have one piece of advice.  And that is to change your mind.  You have to change the way you think about things.  Change what you think about the things going on in your life and then change what you say about what is going on in your life.

Consider the bigger picture in life.  We get so bogged down and distracted by small things that we get things twisted.  We make a struggle out of things we should be thankful for.  That’s where the mentality twist has to come in.  Instead of dreading that job, or hating paying bills, or complaining about your kids, really consider what is happening.  Instead of saying to yourself “ugh I don’t want to go to work, this is going to be such a struggle”, consider saying this...”I’m thankful that I have a career, and I’m going to do what I can to make this day a great one.”  I know, I know, it sounds cheesy, but I’m telling you, changing how you think and what you say are the keys.  Find a way to say it in your own words.  When you go to pay those bills, instead of speaking on how much it’s a struggle, try whispering a prayer of thankfulness for having the funds to pay your bills.  There is someone out there who really is struggling to pay them and they wish they were in your shoes.  Most of the things we dread doing are so minor and they take no time out of our day.  There are times when I’m struggling to go to the gym and in the grand scheme of things it is literally 30 minutes out of my day.  I have to remind myself and say things like “this 30 minutes will be worth it. My health is important.”  The more you begin to shift the way you think about these situations, the better you will begin to feel about them.

I don’t want everyday and everything that you have to do to be a struggle for you. Thinking that way and acting that way makes it hard to enjoy life. It makes it hard to be thankful.  It makes it hard to really see the good in what’s going on.  Yes, you may be tired, yes, life may not be perfect, yes, there are things in life that need some work, yes you have some legitimate tough days, but I promise you, If you really take inventory of your life, of these so-called “struggle” situations, you’ll see things aren’t so bad.  Change your mindset to reflect that.  It may take some time to make that way of thinking your new normal, but it is a change that is well worth the time and effort.

The next time you go to utter “ugh, the struggle is real” I want you to pause and really think about your situation.  See it from all sides, especially the bright side, and make your thoughts and behavior reflect that new way of thinking.  It’s time that we realize that the struggle isn’t real at all.  It’s all in how you think about things.  So, let’s release this struggle mentality and embrace the mentality that truly helps us see just how sweet life really is.

LaShawnda McLaurin is a licensed clinical mental health counselor offering counseling and coaching services to women, exclusively online. She specialized in anxiety counseling, anxiety, fear, and worry coaching, trauma, and relationship issues. To learn more about LaShawnda’s services click here.