Reject! How to Embrace Rejection

Rejection happens.  It’s not something that you outgrow or you become too big for.  Rejection is a part of life.  Let’s talk about how to handle rejection so that it doesn’t turn into shame, embarrassment, or discourage you from moving forward.  Instead, I want to help you embrace rejection. 

Are You a Reject?

Rejection, for a long time, was something that I was very ashamed to admit that I had experienced.  In my mind, no one was being rejected in life, except for me.  Does that sound familiar?  But as I grew older, I began to notice a pattern in how rejection was impacting the trajectory of my life.  I went from focusing on small things like being rejected from social organizations or not being excepted by groups of people I want to be friends with to focusing on how rejection was really shaping my life.  I begin to realize that being rejected for a job position wasn’t a bad thing.  Or being rejected by that guy wasn’t a bad thing.  Or not being excepted into certain programs was not a horrible thing.  I began to realize that after the rejection happened, something better always followed it.  Now, this happens all the time, but most of the times we are too deep in our emotions and our shame and our embarrassment and our “How dare they?” or “Who do they think they are?” that we don’t see what’s happening in our life.  We are deep in the waters of misery from rejection that we don’t see that there is a plan being orchestrated in our favor.

Embrace Rejection

Let’s free yourself from feeling like rejection is a negative thing.  Free yourself from being embarrassed to say “I tried and I didn’t make it.”  Let’s become ok with saying “I didn’t get it.” Because the truth is, in order to make shots you have to actually take shots and when you do so you are probably going to miss some of those shots.  That is OK!  It happens, even to the greatest of us.  I don’t want you to let those misses, that rejection, those “no’s”, stop you from trying to do the amazing things that you want to do. To learn how to deal with failure and rejection check out the virtual course in the Anxiety Management Boutique.

Rejection is Not Your Enemy

Often times we want things in that may not be the best for us.  When we do not receive those things we are hurt and disappointed not realizing that the rejection was for our good.  The next time you are rejected from being a part of a certain group, remember that maybe this group wouldn’t be good for you.  The next time you rejected by some guy or girl remember that maybe they wouldn’t be healthy for you.  The next time you are rejected from a job or position remember that rejection is not the enemy and maybe this is blocking you from something you are not going to like.  I have found that many times rejection has saved me from a lot of misery.  If I would’ve gotten what I asked for my life, I would not have been in a good place. So instead of rebuking rejection, embrace rejection.  Remember rejection’s purpose and ask for it so that you can stay on the right path.  Sometimes we don’t know what’s best for us and that rejection may just be a gift from God.

Rejection Now Doesn’t Mean Rejection Forever.

There are times where the answer is no… for now.  Maybe later that door will open.  If you are being rejected at the moment I don’t want you to get discouraged and believe that this is how it’s always going to be.  Sometimes a no is a no.  Sometimes a no means not now.  But the only way you’ll find out is if you keep going and keep trying to be great.  If you get a no and you stop trying, you’ll never know where at will lead to.  You’ll never know where you’re supposed to go afterwards.  You’ll never know what that rejection was setting you up for.  So, don’t get discouraged and don’t quit just because you are being rejected because no now doesn’t mean that it will be a no always.

Rejection is a Part of Greatness

You can’t climb to the top of Mount Everest and never stumble.  I just don’t think it’s gonna happen that way.  If you listen to the stories of amazing people throughout history, you’ll see that they were rejected over and over again.  It happens.  If you are being rejected, if you are being told no, remember that you are in great company. Every business owner, every fortune 500 company, every superstar in some sense has had a door or two or three slammed in their face.

Rejection build resiliency.  It builds character.  It helps your ability to be flexible.  There are so many things that you learn from being rejected that if you were always told yes you would never learn these things.

In a nutshell, I am thankful for rejection and I hope that you soon can view rejection in the same way. There’s no need to be ashamed.  There’s no need to be embarrassed.  There’s no need to feel hurt and down about being rejected.  I want you to start brushing yourself off.  Continue to look towards your future and know that something better and brighter must be ahead just waiting for you.

LaShawnda McLaurin is a licensed clinical mental health counselor offering counseling and coaching services to women, exclusively online. She specialized in anxiety counseling, anxiety, fear, and worry coaching, trauma, and relationship issues. To learn more about LaShawnda’s services click here.